The Five Aspects of the Divine

The Five Aspects in the spiritual tradition I follow are the five faces of the Divine in my life.  They come to me as both Mother and Father, Grandparent, Ancient Power, Friend and Lover.  The 5 Aspects are ancient masks dancing around the primal fire I call God.  I too dance, united with this Divine Fire. With every movement I attune to that Silent Presence within all things, within myself.  In my dance I re-enact the birth of the Cosmos. I spin, becoming the shield of the Guardian. I close my eyes that I may see with the eyes of the Seer.  I turn and stomp at the crossroads with the Traveler.  Then slowing my body slides erotically with the Lover.  Then breathing deep, I extend my hands to the world with the hands of the Healer.  In those moments we are One. And that is more than enough.

One Who Is Awake

I believe the Guru, the Shaman and the Sorcerer are the same.  They are an individual who has awakened.  They are able to step outside of the dream of the world and see the truth.

What If?

What if God is pure spirit?   What if because God is pure spirit, God has no hands nor feet on earth but ours?  What if God's dream of love, compassion and liberation to free the spark from the spirit within us could only come through, through us?

The Journey that Makes Us

My dead partner murdered me.  At least that is what it felt like when he died.  In a way, it is true.  In three days it will be four years when my partner of sixteen years left this physical life.  In reflecting on what I have done with my life since then, I realize that I am a different man.  I am not sure where the old me is.  Like a snake shedding its skin, I have died and birthed a new me.  His death killed the old me.

There are parts of me that I mourn losing.  I used to be a lot more innocent, yet like the myth of the couple being driven from the garden of innocence, I was forced out, and birthed into a knowledge of life rather than innocence from it.  I have experience love, heart-break and broken others hearts which I ought not to have done.  I have people who hate me now...some perhaps rightfully so.  I have been proud and been forced to be humbled.  My heart is harder now...I feel less compassion.  It seems impossible for me to let go and fall in love.  I am tired.

And it …

The Voice That Speaks

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before. -Edgar Allan Poe

I consider myself a spiritual person.  This may come as a surprise to some who know me and as no surprise to others.  I believe the sacred is found in all of nature.  Not just the parts we deep beautiful, but even in the savagery of the lion capturing her prey.    I am an animist.  I have no problem offering love to animals, trees, and plants.  I imagine a consciousness in them that connects us and to a source greater than ourselves.  I also believe in a vast spiritual reality made up of many types of beings, some benevolent, other malevolent, and every other spectrum such as found in humanity as well.

What this means is that you may see me offer honey at the foot of the tree for the spirits of place where I am, or you may observe me offering candle and incense to my ancestors or even various gods/saints who are patrons of various t…

The Dark Gifts of Eros- Eros United

Lest anyone think I am polyanna-ish about matters of the heart, I assure you I am not.  Eros, with bow in hand, has arrows of love that turn toxic.  His arrows are like seeds.  Some grow for a short time, and then the roots hit rock and never go any deeper.  Others are choked out by weeds.  And a few grow deep and strong.  Sadly, too often, I have experienced the former.  Yet from every one of these failed dates and relationships there are opportunities for growth.

The last I had written, I was dating three men in my polyamorous experiment.  They all were aware of each other and all went well.  The long-distance one was the first to fall to dust in my hands.  After the initial meeting and lust sating itself, not much remained.  It ended.  The second was more baffling to me, but without exposing details, we mutually ended the relationship a few days after the first one ended.  We made great friends, have deep and thoughtful conversations, and fun sex - all of which could continue, but …

Finding the Source - Eros United

Things have shifted since I have last written. I have three separate paramours that I am dating, each knowing about the others.  One has shifted into a full-fledged boyfriend.  One is long-distance dating but this past weekend drove eight hours to be with me.  The third is the newest, and we are still getting to know each other.
What compounds this type of polyamory is that we are open. I have never been in an open relationship before, much less a poly open one. On one hand I love it.  Sometimes sex with a person who is not your spouse can be wonderful and exciting.  However there have been a couple of times when jealousy has arisen in me or one of my partners.
In exploring my own feelings of jealousy I ask myself a series of questions such as

Am I feeling inadequate?What am I afraid of?What was I feeling before the jealousy arose?   When my long distance partner left to return to his home state, one of my other partners went out of state to help his best friend move.  Initially I spen…