It is hard to believe it has been over a year since he passed. I no longer cry at a whim, though I notice I am much more tender and compassionate toward those who have loved ones suffering, though with a real dread of going into hospitals now. I have evolved and changed so much since that time. I am more at home in my own skin. I am much more appreciative of my body. I work out regularly and eat well most of the time. I honor my sexuality, am not afraid to show my body, and see my sexuality as a gift.
Yet that does not mean I have lost my sense of spirituality. I see the wisdom my teacher was trying to impart to me during my training in Kaula Tantric Hinduism. The sacred can be accessed in the mundane. It is not an either/or dichotomy. Desire can be made Divine. Perhaps all this is merely God's play. Each of us being a finger on the hand of God, playing a role in the dream of the Divine.
This has been embodied in my interest in the image of God found in the stories of Krishna of late. He is playful, sensual, but there is also something more...something noble and sacred behind his play. He invites us to the dance. To honor our skin and flesh...as well a the fact it ages and changes...to use every experience as an invitation to deepen our dance and enter his mysteries. This way is the path of the Divine. Those who walk this path (by no means the only path), walk a more ecstatic path. Like any path, there are a million distractions, and yet in every one an invitation to know the divine presence in every experience whether pleasant or painful.
The Gospel of Thomas (a non-canonical gospel) speaks of the Divine presence in all things when it has Jesus say, "Split a piece of wood; I am there. Lift up the stone, and you will find me there."