Showing posts from July, 2012

The End

So the time of my little personal experiment is coming to an end.  And yet what has come from it feels more like the beginning.  I remember being taught it takes 21 days to establish a habit and another 21 to have it so ingrained that you feel awkward without that habit taking place.  This 30 days of Bliss, really challenged me to be more introspective.  I have learned to be more forgiving of myself...noting that I am a person who in many ways is an over-achiever in some things, and live guilt for even the smallest most foolish things.  So when I messed up, I realized it was okay.  The world did not end, God did not punish me, nor did I suffer severe karmic consequences for missing an exercise time.

Some of the the results for me were really planting the seeds of letting go of the need to cling to a religious label.  I am still learning to feel okay with that.  I am learning to build a relationship with Spirit that is not based on a religion.  Again, this really feels like a beginning …

Beautiful Song!

This is so beautiful I wanted to share it.  Publish Post

Longing - Day 28

Though I am not at the end of this 30 day experiment, I am close.  Already I am aware of some of the lessons I have been taught through this exercise.  The first is that this time was a period of the practice of mindfulness.  Another lesson was simply that there is a real need in my life for discipline.  It is too easy to talk religion/spirituality without a deep practice of it.

On a deeper level, I have found something awakened in me...a deep longing for God.  The Gospel of Thomas says we are children of the Father and that our source or home we came from is in this light we call God.  I long for God.  I long for another experience of God.  And yet this longing is an experience and awareness of the Divine. And this Divine Presence is within!

Checking in! - Day 21

Well I was away from the ol' blog longer than the weekend, but a week fast from the blog was just what I needed.  Things are still going very well.  In this time I have revived my aromatherapy practices, Reiki and praying with my angels and guides.

This past week has been very interesting in my conversations with my spouse who due to being beaten down by fundamentalists is not sure there is a personal God.  Personally, I am fine with that.  God to me is more than fundamentalists make God out to be.  God is often believed to be the image we imagine Spirit to be, and yet God is so much more!  You find a similar teaching in the Bhagavad-Gita, one also finds hints of these teachings in the Gospel of Thomas.

My spouse's questions have challenged me to contemplate Spirit more.  Who or what is God?  Is God all powerful?  I don't see Spirit as something separate from us, but rather like Bible's Book of Acts teaches, "in God we live, move, and have our being."  We are…


I will be with my family for a bit!  Have a great one!

To Everything There Is A Time: Day 11

Yesterday was a very interesting day.  I like interesting days.  My emotions were doing some interesting things, so I took a little extra time for prayer and meditation.  God to me is both personal and impersonal.  Both The Gospel of Thomas and Hinduism teach something similar.  At times, such as in meditation, I simply rest in God as presence....not really a person just an energy or such for lack of a better word.  During prayer God is mother and father, brother and friend.  Someone I can talk to, share my thoughts, worries, and fears.

This 30 day experiment is bringing up lots of stuff for emotional and spiritual housecleaning.  My dreams reflect a lot of that.  From being bound and threatened to be raped by a demon, to dreams of my recently passed father, to so many others.  All are part of the process.

Prayer Intention: Those who travel.   (I also ask for prayers for my family...a lot going on with sister in her marriage and spouse with job).

Hurry Hurry: Day 10

Yesterday went by in a blur.  Yoga was fantastic, but wow my mind did not want to slow down for meditation.  Do you have that happen?  I offer up my thoughts again and again.  One thing that is a challenge for me is not to get fixated on time limits for my meditations and yoga.  My average time meditating is 20 mins in the morning so I have to be careful not to look at the time or I will compare it to 20 minutes!

Karma: Day 9

Yesterday eve, my spouse made a delicious meal but it was also pretty greasy.  My stomach hated it.  I have been eating very well and to suddenly eat something so radically different, made me regret it!  My evening workout and meditation times were shortened.  Peppermint herbal tea helped.

This morning however, I hopped right up, took a shower, rubbed on my aromatherapy oils and did an intense yoga session and meditation.

I really feel that letting the labels drop and not identifying with a single religion for this 30 days has really liberated me to look at things.  I have not stopped my personal passion for social justice, caring for the needy, nor the time for prayer and meditation in my life every day.  I just do not feel that almost obsessive need to conform/integrate/immerse myself in a tradition.  I found myself on a merry-go round of beliefs adopted, thought about, and laid down to follow my next interest.  I don't feel that now.  What I am doing just feels...well.. authenti…

Lethargy: Day 8

Yesterday, I started off the day perky and full of energy.  However, not too much later, lethargy set in and I did not want to do a thing.  I wound up dancing and my energy perked back up.  (Dancing is a fantastic form of exercise!) I meditated twice and wound up doing yoga in the evening.  Turned out to be wonderful.  My change of eating lifestyle is fantastic as my spouse has joined me in part of it.

Prayer Intention:  Those who are lonely.

Keep On Keeping On: Day 7

Today was a great day.  Meditation was fantastic.  Got to spend some time with my beloved, where we went to pick up yoga mats and a few things for the kitchen.  (I admit I love kitchen gadgets).  We grilled some chicken outside and it was fantastic.  Yoga was wonderful...I am growing more and more limber and these poses I can hold longer and stretch a whole heck of a lot more!  God has really blessed this day.  I am so thankful for it.

Prayer Intention:  Those who suffer the effects of violence.

Every Have That Dry Feeling? Day 6

So yesterday went well.  I ate three amazing meals that were healthy.  I did so without gorging myself.  My veggie and fruit intake has been incredible since this has started.  I noticed my meditation time is increasing as well.  My workout time was less intense, and I do not want to make that a habit but once in a while is okay.

One of things I am observing is the "newness" of this project is passing.  Now comes the time to really allow the foundation to set and stick with it.  While I am happier than I have been in ages, I also know that blogging here helps hold myself accountable!  Thank you for being here!

Prayer Intention:  For those suffering financial struggles.

Day 5

Eek I forgot to blog yesterday!  I am still meditating twice a day.  Doing some cleaning and removing clutter daily.  Prayer is becoming much more natural again.  I had started the first couple of days with a Marianne Williamson audio that has morning and evening prayers.  They are lovely.  My eating is going well.  Again I am not trying to go to extremes.  I am eating a ton more veggies and fruit lately though.  I love them anyway, so no big struggle there.

I had a unique moment yesterday where I got a distinct message, a synchronicity where God you a little guidance just when you need it.  I love those!

Prayer Intention: For those struggling within a relationship.

What Time Is It? Day 4

I woke up this morning energized.  I am noticing that my sleep patterns are regularizing, that I am spending less time at the computer, and more time being...well...happy.   I did an intense yoga session then took the last of my books that I am removing away.  While driving them to their destination, I noticed it was noon and my brain began an odd series of thoughts, that I should find somewhere to eat, where was I going to eat, what places are there near here that I could eat.  The funny thing was...I was not hungry!  It was due to the time being noon and thus "lunchtime" and nothing else.  So I did a bit of self-talk that I do not need to eat because it was a certain time, but rather chose to pay attention to my body and its needs.

Yoga, Prayer, and Meditation are going well.  I want to give a shout out to Angel who is doing this little journey with me.  Thanks for your comments.  Comments keep me going and inspired!  You are a blessing!

Prayer Intention: For those who take…

Day 3: Observing

Happy 4th! I just finished up an intense yoga session followed by meditation. This project is proving fruitful. Moving away from sodas has proved easy. Meditation too has been easy to re-establish in my life. (though it is only day 3!). I did notice a couple of things today related to eating and my weight. I tend to crave food when I am bored. I find myself bored when I veg in front of the tv or video games. Also I feel a need to fill my plate and then eat everything on it. So I am adding another component to this 30 day project. I am going to practice portion control as well.
Prayer Intention: The sick.

Is THAT the Devil?: Day 2

It is Day 2 of my 30 day quest to deepen my spiritual practice.  So far all is well.  Last night I did another round of yoga, meditation and prayer.

Today, I did some flow yoga which was glorious.  I love it.  Also for lunch I ate humas, tabouli, and lentil soup!  So far I have not missed sodas, drinking water and teas instead.

One of the things that has popped up for me in removing hundreds more books to get rid off is an old devil hiding in the back of my subconscious.  As a teenager I was a fundamentalist Christian.  While I learned many wonderful things, and grew into a living relationship with God from it, I also carried away tons of baggage when I was shunned by my faith community.

Most of it has been dealt with but in getting rid of tons of my old fundamentalist Christian books, many dating to these years, I realized a part of me thought I would someday go back.  And with that insight of that came the revelation of why I thought that.  It was pounded into my brain that if one i…

Day 1

Ha!  So much for good intentions.  I woke up this morning tired and thinking I really do not want to meditate.  But I did anyway.  One of the things I have done with these practices I am undertaking is not setting time limits.  There was a time when I meditated 3 times a day for 45 minutes a pop.  Sadly when I regularly meditated, some days I would keep peeking at the clock wondering how much longer I need to sit.  With my exercise and meditation I do not look at the clock at the beginning nor during it.  I just do it.  This has freed up the sense of anger and frustration at having to do it.

So my day went like this.  I got up, meditated and then did my yoga routine.  I prayed and am embarrassed by the fact that I am out of practice and did not have much to say.  But I did pray.  I ate a healthy breakfast and drank water.  Then I went to continue the final stages of the remodel of my bedroom-putting stuff back in.  This of course is a practice of letting go of clutter.  I have tons an…

30 Days of Change

Well it has been a little over a month since my father passed.  In that time, he had come to me a couple of times in my dreams with little messages.  He even came to me in the day before he passed, just reminding me to look after my mom, and what my plan was to help take care of her in this time of grief.  Oddly enough our nurse too had a dream the day he passed, saying thank you for taking care of him during all of this.  The dreams since he passed have been a comfort and inspiration to me.  This past month I have really been reflecting on it all.  The Christians I met had their beliefs which were very comforting to my family during all this.  They still are helping care for my mother and sister who live many miles away from me.  I am so thankful for them.  They also challenged me.  I do not identify as a Christian in any orthodox form.  However I believe and love God but hold many different beliefs that put me outside the Christian fold.  The God I believe in, is often impersonal as…