A Big Enough Deity

I have spent each day after coming home contemplating my experience of Christianity during the time of my father's passing.  I have been thinking about God, what both evangelical and liberal Christians say about God, Jesus and humanity.  It has led me to conclude a couple of things.

The first is, I am not a Christian. Not in any traditional sense.  The good thing is all those old grudges were healed through my experiences with good kindly Christians during his sickness and death.  I know there are closed minded and psycho people who claim to be Christians, but I dont blame the whole religion for them.  I know many are not that way.  So why I am I not a Christian?   My God is bigger.  My God has so many describers.....many not biblical in the least.  God to me is Mother, Father, Lover but also friend, nature, Goddess, Shakti, Sophia, Krishna, Jesus, Kali, the tree in my front yard, the rolling plains, sunset, land my spouse.  My faith story is not limited to the Biblical characters whether from the Bible or Nag Hammadi. I find spiritual meaning in myth, in life, in experiences, and in my relationship with others.  My scriptures could be a poem, nature or any holy book.  Some might argue that this is their Christian faith (Many liberal or emergent Christians might say that)  In that case I might be a Christian by such a broad definition, but I know that most Christianity would not. 

I do believe and love God/the Divine.  She is Mother to me.  He is the God...utterly masculine and silent, revealing his mysteries in silence.  He is also Jesus who loved the outcasts.  He is like Krishna the playful and wise one.  She is like Mother Mary/Holy Sophia who welcomes us all  to be held within her embrace.  She is like Kali who would sever us from our weaker natures.  God is in nature, and an awareness that is beyond any anthropomorphizing or personification found in all things. 

So what does this mean?  For me, it means I can rest confident in my love and faith of God.  I can talk God and Jesus with the Christians.  I can speak of the Goddess and God with Wiccans.  I can speak of Brahman with the Hindus and the way of Nature with the Taoists and Pantheists. 

This time of my final days with my father, being visited by good Christians caused me to reflect.  I love their peace.  I love their foundation and solidness in their faith.  I envy belonging to the dominant religion that would never cause me to somehow self-doubt my right to believe the way I do.  But my understanding and experience of the Divine is broader and more encompassing.  My morality less constricted while remaining ethical and virtuous. 

This is why I am a Universalist.  This is why I am a priest.  The Universalist Church of the Sacred Path constantly challenges me to expand and reflect.  I am thankful for that, even when it is not comfortable

Comments

  1. I empathize. When we look at all the literal 'trappings' of Christianity it becomes a burden on our heart. It saddens us to look at it but on two fronts: we're somewhat jealous that at least they have a way of quantifying and qualifying their every move and every word as being just and holy or unjust and profane. But also it saddens us because we do understand how tightly they have tethered themselves to this world.

    The All isn't a burden but a blessing for us to see and feel and experience.

    Gnosis is so vast that only the expansive label of 'gnosticism' seems to fit because gnosis itself is as big and complex as the universe we inhabit.

    Your Church of the Sacred Path is blessed to have you in it, brother. I know the path is wide and gives us much room to wander but I know also that when comparing yourself and your faith to the literalist faiths of Christianity then gnosis can feel like your swimming in an ocean with no land in sight. Literalist Christians and others of literalist faiths have boundaries they've set for themselves. Good for them, if that is what they require currently. But you are free, brother. You are free to fly as high as you can imagine. Stay away from that cage and you'll be blessed a thousand times over.

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